ivyadrena: (Naruto - Saku memory-thethiefinsideyourh)
[personal profile] ivyadrena
When dad was in the hospital, I think my biggest fear was that he wouldn't remember me. It just happened in a dream.

It was towards the end of an already random tanget about me being on a bus that broke down/crashed and a bunch of us had to struggle to survive and find a new place to live. There was some mention of a biological war, but it was a passing comment from someone.

Later, I was riding a bike down a cobblestone street at night. It was drizzling rain, and the streetlights cast blue tones to everything. He was standing on a bridge, dressed in dark pants and one of his plaid flannel coats, staring almost aimlessly across the water. There was a little tan and white dog with him, on a thin leash.

I got off my bike and asked if he was okay. He said he would be fine, if he could remember where he was supposed to be. I took his arm and said I would bring him there. (Oddly, I kept the bike with us, steering it along side with my free hand. Most dreams would have abandoned or forgotten it, right?)

We started walking, and it wasn't very far to go. Down the street a little and into a niche between two tall buildings and through a set of glass doors (I left the bike outside at this point). It looked like a cross between an airport and a casino, with security and patrons everywhere. One of the security people looked at us, then nodded subtly towards a hall to the right, so I took dad that way. Then someone walked past us, and I realized it was dad-- dressed in a dark business suit, surrounded by subordinates as he briskly walked down the hall to the left. This was very odd, because I was still holding the arm of the dad I'd found out in the street.

For some reason, I left the one I was with to his hall, and ran after the new, stranger one. I regretted it the second I turned away; he smiled and disappeared down the right hallway. When I reached the one down the left, I asked if he was okay. He looked at me as if I were a stranger, no trace of recognition on his face. I asked him what the dog's name was, and I finally got a reaction: he wanted to know how I knew about the dog. The people around him herded him into a room before I could answer.

Then I woke up.

It's the first time I've dreamed about dad since he died.

Date: 2007-12-08 10:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] calanthe-fics.livejournal.com
i don't know what to say. I have no smart words to explain what you dreamt might mean. I hope you aren't upset. Keep your chin up and remember all the things you loved about him.


Date: 2007-12-09 12:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] korinacaffeine.livejournal.com
I'm not sure how to interpret dreams and such, but this sounds so weird.

At least it wasn't a nightmare.

Date: 2007-12-09 12:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ivyadrena.livejournal.com
Yeah, seriously. I don't think I could've handled it if it had been a nightmare. As it was, I cried on mom's shoulder after I got up.

June 2012

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