You asked for it, CD. This one's for you, hon. ^_^
Emotional distance. It's something I've never really thought about before, but it seems to be popping up to bite me on the ass.
It started with a dream.
It was in color, a bit fuzzy around the edges, but still clear, if that makes any sense. Most of the time, I saw it happen in third person like I usually do in dreams, but a few times, I was in my dream-body.
I was in Tim Hortons, paying a surprise visit to my friend Kathy and the gang that works there. Hugs all around.
It was strange, that I noticed it; the menu had changed. Instead of selling mainly donuts and such, there were bratwurst, sliced meats, things like that. Even some sauerkraut.
Kathy had to go back to the office for something, so I waited up front, leaning against the counter, looking at the new selection of food.
Then James Marsters came up behind me, wrapped his arms around me, and kissed my neck. Don't ask me how I knew it was James and not Spike, as he was dressed as Spike, peroxide hair, black duster, and all. But my heart said James, and I knew it to be true.
I turned in his arms, wrapped mine around his neck, and pressed my lips against his. Eventually it changed, became a french-kiss. But when he tried to tangle his tongue with mine, something made it so that he could only lick at my lips and just inside, though he didn't seem to notice. I tried to touch our tongues, but it seemed the same obstruction blocked me, as well. I could only mirror him.
My heart hurt.
I vaguely saw our imbrace in black and white, vaguely realized I was watching it on the monitor from the camera that recorded the front line.
When we broke our kiss, I looked at him, called him "Spike" with a strange infection in my voice that I couldn't place, and he quirked that eyebrow that says everything and nothing, but he didn't respond, though he kept his arms around my waist.
Kathy came back around the corner and I smiled at her. She grinned back in that knowing way she has.
Suddenly Kathy and I were in the bathroom, James waiting for us out by the front line, and I told her that he had kissed me. She grinned again and said, "I know," and told me she had watched from the monitor in the office.
I must have been seeing the black and white images through her.
Then we were back in the main part of the resturaunt, and I was in James's arms again. He kissed me, a light press of lips, then asked me to marry him. I didn't even hesitate, said, "Yes."
I waived at Kathy, and then he and I were out the door. Walking to his car, we passed a light green and white car parked in front of some bushes, it's design one I'd never seen before, but it struck me as an older, classic model. I got the feeling that that car had some significance to it, but Hell if I know what it is.
We got into James's shiney black sports car, buckled in, and pulled out onto the street.
There was a little electronic doll in front of us, riding a bicycle. (Not like Ping from MegaTokyo, as Bri thought when I told her about it, though. Think Chucky-sized, but not possessed by a homicidal killer.) James would speed up, then break when he almost hit it, and the little boy doll would glare at us over it's shoulder, then look forward, and keep peddling.
It went on like this for I don't know how long.
Then the dream shifted, and I was watching a tiny version of the doll riding his bike across a powerline. I distantly heard someone speaking of it, explaining what the doll was and how it worked.
Things went more fuzzy and drifted away as I slowly woke up. I was rather hoping to get to the honeymoon with James.
How I hate mornings.